How I broke my New Year's Resolution...

You may have gathered from previous postage that Mr. Bump and I are rather close, in an exclusive, long-term, sig-O sort of way. You may also have the impression that we are not engaged. If you have this impression, I'd like to personally congratulate you on being sentient.

I'll spare you the gory details of how long this has been going on (trust me, your jaws collectively hitting the ground would cause a tsunami in micronesia), sufficed to say, dag gum it, I'm ready to get me hitched! Unfortunately for all involved, Mr. Bump is a bit late in arriving at this conclusion. And given the fact that everyone we know (including strangers we meet and have known for all of 10 minutes), looks at him bug-eyed and asks the obvious question "why aren't you married, yet?", I suspect that he is aware of his retardation (this word means "the act proceeding slowly." I am not calling mr. Bump names).

For some time now, I've been a little suggestive, perhaps mildly insistent, that he get his bump in gear. This has had very (VERY) little effect. And like any rational human being, upon realizing that Mr. Bump is unlikely to be swayed by pressure (what's that you're shouting? Thumbscrews?!), I decided that I would back off for a bit. As New Year's was drawing near, I thought I'd get all proactive and make an early resolution not to nag the Bump-Man about marriage.

Yeah. Right. I became the only human being to break their resolution in negative 14 days. I checked, and Guiness has no record of awesomely short-lived new year's resolutions. I'm a champion, people. Did I mention that I crumbled in front of The Internet? Yes, well, I might add that Mr. Bump is the only confirmed reader of this blog.

I'm sure most men, and some women who stumble upon this will no doubt think to themselves "That chick's down right bonkers, I wouldn't marry her. Hell, I'd dump her ass right now." Fair enough, I know that the ol' rolling-pin-wielding-bride-to-be isn't exactly romantic. But trust me, when his little brother sweetly intones that "dude, you're not getting any younger"... you'd snap too.