mmmm... Hi!

Hello!

Did you miss me? Wait... lemme guess. You missed me like...

...like the desert missed the rain!

no?

...like a junkie misses a fix!

no??

...like lost luggage!

still no??!

wait, I think I've got it: like you missed that slightly surly cashier who didn't look at you once during the entire trasaction?

I rule.

Vacation was very nice, thank you for asking.

Mr. Bump out-did himself with a very touching present (not a ring) that I will tell you about soon.

I also overheard the A-number-1 best excuse ever for farting in front of relatives, courtesy of my mom (remember: mom = awesome). It went down like this:

Us: blah blahbitty blah blah (talking about stupid stuff)
Mom: Pfffbbbtttt...bttt.
Us: suddenly silent, staring at mom.
Mom: (turns bright red) I couldn't help it, I-I have a cold.

That! ladies and gentlemen, is why I love my mother.



And now for something completely different.